3 Ways of Learning
Flee fornication! (1Cor.6:18) Avoid adultery like the plague! Why? It will cruelly kill you like the plague. But how can we coach our kids, ourselves or those we are mentoring regarding this life or death issue? When my son was a boy, I told him, "There are three ways to learn something. Let me illustrate. Imagine I told you, 'Don't put a paperclip in your mouth and then insert it in an electrical socket.' The wise child would heed my explanation and warning. The easily influenced child might be tempted to do it via peer pressure. But if he saw a boy attempt such before it was his turn try it, he would learn from his howls and not do so. That painful example would teach him, whereas my warnings had before, only fallen on deaf ears. But what if the boy was a fool? Fools mock warnings as mere scare tactics. And they assume that the screams of the kid that tried it just means that he didn't do it quite right. So there is only one way for a fool to hopefully learn- the hard way- experience. So there you have it- the three ways of learning. The wise learn by explanations. The easily influenced learns by the example of others. But the fool must learn by painful personal experience."
In today's reading, Proverbs 5, the father appeals to his son as a wise one- he gives him an explanation. Then he includes the consequences if he doesn't heed the explanation and warning.
Proverbs is often viewed as a father mentoring his son before he grew up and moved out on his own. But this chapter seems to indicate that at least this son may have been already married (5:15-20. So Proverbs is a great book to use to mentor married men as well. Hmm, kinda like what we're doing:). Counsel against the adulteress is a big theme in the introductory chapters of Proverbs (1-9). We are warned about the wayward woman in 2:16-19; in all of chapter 5; also in 6:20-35; and in all of chapter 7. She is the evil competitor of the woman of wisdom we are to loyally love. That woman of wisdom is really God's wise ways personified. We are to love, prize and pursue her as we are to do so of God and His words. And the ultimate expression of God's wisdom is Jesus, "the One greater than Solomon" Mt.12:42. "In Him are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge" Col.2:3. May we love, prize and pursue Him above all else.
So what safeguards does the father offer his son from immorality? Yes, a healthy marriage can be helpful, but it is not the cure to immorality. Many a christian man, who has fallen into adultery, has admitted that his marriage wasn't even on the rocks. Instead, he slowly but surely developed infatuous feelings for a woman at work, etc. (And infatuation is like cocaine to the brain! Infatuation literally means- to make foolish, to cause to lose sound judgment.) He didn't guard his heart or his steps. So what should we do if we find ourselves attracted to another woman? (Is she attractive? Then you are wired right!)
First, guard your heart. We read yesterday a key verse regarding this. "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the well spring of life." Pr.4:23. Don't let the enemy pollute your well. Admit your feelings. Yes, she may be a knock out, but I will not be knocked out of the path of blessing and into the slaughter house (7:22) by following my flesh. Note also what Prov.6:25 says about guarding our heart- "do not lust in your heart for her beauty." We can't help it if she crosses our field of vision, but we can certainly then bounce our eyes to a different direction and fight against sexually lusting. Here are some practical tips. Joseph declared in the face of a temptress, "How could I do this great evil and sin against God?" Gen.39:9. So remind yourself of what immorality is- a great evil against the One who truly loves you. And the evil one is desperately seeking to ruin your life. Tell an M3 warrior if you are having more than a passing attraction for another woman. Secret temptations, when exposed to others, lose a lot of their pulling power. Guard your heart! If you have to talk with her at work, don't pour out your heart to her. Don't pay her compliments. Don't tell how good she looks or how you feel about her. Instead, tell her how you feel about your Lord or your gratitude for your wife and kids. Never ever complain to her about your wife or ask her for counsel! Guard your heart!
Second, guard your steps. Today's passage reveals this incredible prescription for victory over immorality. "Keep to a path far from her" 5:8. Don't look for opportunities to spend time with her. Avoid her. If you have to work together, don't work alone together, lunch alone, drive alone. Don't touch her or tease her. Avoid her. It's mighty hard to have an affair with someone you avoid. As it's been said, "It's much easier to avoid temptation than to resist it." Avoid her! Joseph fled from Potiphar's wife who sought to seduce him. Flee temptation!
Third, remember the horrible consequences of immorality. Note a few haunting ones in 5:9-14, 22-23.
Fourth, if you are married, nurture your marriage. Note 5:15-20.
Fifth and finally in this chapter, there is another powerful preventative. Remember that "a man's ways are in full view of the Lord" 5:21. "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline." 1:7. Be wise and heed this vital counsel from your Father who is mentoring you in Proverbs. The fool will toss all this to the side, hell bent on his lust, "led astray by his own great folly." 5:23. He will become a disastrous example to others of the folly of not heeding the Father's wise and protective counsel.
1.-After reading through this and Proverbs 5, what might you add of practical advice to warn men? If you've traveled down this tempting but regretful path and want to share any of your story, that could be very helpful in light of the three ways people learn. (Remember, what's shared among us, stays among us, if it is of a sensitive nature. Love always protects. So protect the identity and reputation of others as you would want them to do for you.)
2.-Write on your MP3 card, "Keep to a path far from her" Prov.5:8.
It's a lie of the enemy that would make you think that your need or deserve this tempting thing, or that no one will find out, or that you are destined to repeat the sins of your father, if he fell in this area. You're now a child of the Holy King of kings. Your heavenly Father has a great legacy that He intends for you. You are a cycle breaker and a legacy maker.
Teach your children well. Coach others well. Teach them the three ways we learn. And live a victorious example for them to follow starting today and each day. Your setting a GREAT example even on the scoreboard. Wouldn't you want your children to be GREAT in these areas? Then keep setting a GREAT example for them and your brothers to follow.
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