Wed.5.20.15...Prov.12:15-28...Lying & Ignoring Repair Attempts

Read through Prov.12:15-28 and you’ll see there is much to choose to write on. Did you notice that four times the issue of lying, deceit and a false witness are mentioned? 

One of my problems in high school was that I was a liar and didn’t even realize it. It was second nature to me. I guess I could have blamed my father. Jesus said, “You belong to your  father, the devil and you want to carry out your father’s desire…When he lies he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies” John 8:44. But now that we have a new nature in Christ, lying is to be put off like an ugly, infested garment. “Therefore, each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one another” Eph.4:25. One little boy was asked by his Sunday school teacher what he thought of lying. He put a couple thoughts together including a verse from Ps.46:1, which he wrongly remembered and declared, “Lying is an abomination unto God and an ever present help in trouble.” It’s when we are in trouble that we are yet tempted to twist the truth, distort the facts and cloud over our commitments. Yet the very core of our spiritual development is “speaking the truth in love” Eph.4:15. Lord, help us to be like you. No deceit was found in your mouth. You are the truth incarnate. Help us to be honest when a brother asks us a heart searching question. And help us to have the courage to ask the tough questions and to speak the truth with love into others lives. Our children and young people need that and so do we.

Here’s another people skills verse that struck me- “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” Prov.12:18. Let’s apply that to marriage disputes. Studies have proven what you may already know from experience- women are more apt to blow a situation out of proportion. They tend to overreact and may quickly say critical things in an argument such as- “You always” or “You never.”  “You always forget what I ask you to do. You’re never going to change. You’re so selfish.” That’s just not true and that’s enough to derail the original issue. It also may start to make your blood boil. Well, not exactly boil, but your blood-pressure and heart rate accelerate. Men’s go up quicker than women’s do in an argument. At a certain level, it’s impossible to talk rationally. A man's body is revved up for a fight. He needs to take that 30 minute time out. Without it, if his wife starts to make a repair attempt* it will be nearly impossible for him to receive it.  Sadly, the beast in him has been aroused and he would rather seek revenge than reconciliation at that point. This is when you don’t want to be a police officer called to a domestic dispute. By the time you get there, rage rules. Handcuffs and a paddy wagon ride are the only way a time out may happen.  

*A repair attempt is when a person seeks to repair the ruptured relationship. Your wife might say, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I don’t want to fight with you.” (Women are more often the one’s to first seek to cool down a situation.) Or she might seek to validate you or your point, crack a smile, or kindly touch you. If you’re too upset to receive her olive branch for peace at that point, just nod and take a time out. Do not use that as an opportunity to attack while she has dropped her defenses. Round two will definitely be far worse than round one. “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” So here's my guarantee- If you will take that 30 minute time out when things start to heat up, you will never have an ugly fight again. Try it, you'll like it. Make sure to explain this practice to your wife ahead of time. Also both of you agree to honor it whoever calls the time out.  

1.-Now it’s your turn. Read through Prov.12:15-28 and share a verse that grabs your attention. Then share it as if you were mentoring a young man. If you’ve got a story, good or bad, from your past that illustrates it, all the better. (Again, feel free to use verses from today, if that’s what strikes you as well.)

2.-Write down on your MP3 the verse or phrase you picked. Be on the look-out for people to share it with, and perhaps your good story from above.

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